This week a woman from London went viral with her list of 12 rules in search for her new flatmate.
- Be out of the flat on weekdays during working hours so I can work from home.
- Be quiet and considerate. Use door handles rather than slamming.
- Don’t use the phone or Skype a lot throughout the day.
- We’re not a sociable house but you should have good manners and speak to your housemates.
- Be someone who has friends and don’t spend to much time at home watching tv on your laptop.
- Follow the cleaning rota this is not a student dorm.
- Don’t move in if you go to the toilet a lot or take long showers.
- No cooking in the flat between 8.30 am and 11 pm. I don’t like people spending a lot of time cooking in general.
- Everyone is expected to clean up after themselves in the kitchen and the bathroom.
- I don’t want to see your friends constantly hanging around the flat.
- Boyfriends and girlfriends are ok as long as they’re not sleeping over more than 3-4 times a week.
- I don’t want to see people under the influence of drugs and alcohol. reasonable amounts are fine.
If you think some of those are unreasonable check out this landlords list
- No pork EVER IN THE HOUSE or fridge.
- No showers that last more than 15 minutes.
- Leaving dishes in the sink will result in a charge of an extra £15 on the rent.
- No additional heaters to be added otherwise a charge of £100 will be added to the rent.
- Visitors to be approved two weeks in advance.
- Never use somebody else’s shampoo.
- Personal belongings left in communal areas of the flat to be thrown away as junk.
- No food to be eaten in bedrooms.
We’ve saved the best till last read this hilarious landlord letter.
Dear residents. Due to the recent action of a specific tenant, we have been forced to update our community rules. Please find these new rules below.
- No trash bags placed outside your door.
- No loud music after 10 pm.
- No yodeling at any time.
- Do not feed the squirrels nachos.
- Do not change the sign to the fitness center to “fatness center”
- Do not pill out YU-GI-OH cards and threaten to send residents to “the shadow realm”
- Do not climb other peoples belongings while drunkenly yelling “I AM SPIDER-MAN”
- NO ZIPLINES
- Do not place rent checks inside bear traps outside the rental office.
- Do not make rent checks out to “you greedy mother f***ers”
- DO NOT YELL AT THE MOON.
- Do not enter the laundry room in a luchador mask and attempt to wrestle other residents.
- No trick or treat unless you are a kid and its Halloween.
- Do not yell order up and throw hot dogs at people walking past your window.
- Do not attach basketball hoops above residents doors, knock, and when they answer dunk on them.
Moving forward failure to abide by these rules will result in eviction. Thank you. Management.